You have not lived till you’ve loved immensely then had your heart broken by the very person who was the source of your joy and all;the person you’ve loved.
We all at one point in our lives go through stuff which makes us feel like just escaping the world and retreating into outer space,far far away from any human connection.Heartaches are some of that stuff.You think that you are prepared for a heartache,you tell yourself how you’re gonna stand strong in the face of it,how you will not be shaken,how you will not crumble but i kid you not….you can never be prepared for heartache.The moment it hits you like a tornado all your guard tumbles to the ground you feel like your heart’s been yanked straight out of your being.I have been there for the past few days i should know all this.
Those are the times you just wanna be alone and shut the rest of the world out because you dont wanna see anyone else.Every other person’s happy you are not about to let them come tell you that its gonna be okay so you prefer to stay alone and let your sorrow eat you up.Your friends will try hard to be there for you but its just never the same.they will not understand what you are going through because its simply not happening to them.,you are the one undergoing that whole whirlwind of emotions that almost rip you apart.Sure they’ve also been there but you learn that it can never be quite the same.so you they will try and comfort you,sympathize with you(bless them for that) but after all’s said and done you realize that those few moments of comfort and sympathy slowly fade away and the heartache resumes once more.and its worse when the very object of your heartache is someone you see day in day out.Kinda like opening up a healing wound every day thus denying its healing.You will try to mask your sadness from those you care about beacause you just dont wanna drag them into your own messy life.they dont deserve to know,you tell yourself.
If you are like me,you will cry into your blankets at night because you dare not let anyone see your tears at daylight.You believe crying only makes you look weak and vulnerable so you will not let the world see that.At night when you are all alone those hot, scalding tears will find their way into your pillow as if to echo Alicia Keys’ song “tears always win” and you will sob for yourself,for your pretty lil heart and start remembering all those things that led you to that point of vulnerability.And you will promise yourself that you wont ever be caught up in such a situation.And after a while your tears will lull you into dreamless sleep because all of a sudden your ability to dream,to be creative feels like its been lost into oblivion.
They say that time’s a healer and honestly the truthness of that is quite relative.it may take days for some,weeks,months and even years but the bottomline remains that in the end you realize that whatever happened was bound to happen.instead of stressing over the things you cannot control you start picking up the pieces of your heart once more putting them back again painstakingly;each piece containing memories
and lessons learnt the hard way.And you step back and look at your newly putback heart and you hold it in the palm of your hands like one would hold an egg;with so much caution.Life does indeed move on.it only stops the day you stop breathing.And until then,life’s got so much to offer,so much happiness alongside with sadness,so much good things alongside with the bad.You learn that pain fades away eventually but the memories live on forever.We are nothing without memories;to remind us where we coming from and to show us where we dont wanna be going.
Ultimately once we have healed,we can then have the power to Love again.irregardless of when that special someone will come again your way,Only when you’ve mended up the torn up parts will it be possible for you to love once more.